Playing Catch (Up)

Thinking Out Loud…

It’s been tough, hasn’t it?  Chaos seems to reign.  I admit it, it’s been difficult to keep my head above water, to keep my balance, to keep a sense of hope.  Yep, it has been tough.

I haven’t felt like writing because I didn’t know what to say about it all.  Anything I can add seems paltry in the face of so much suffering and ill will.

And yet, I do feel hopeful.  We’ve each our own road to follow, our own challenges, successes and failures, loves and sorrows.  Today, after feeling overwhelmed, down cast and worried, I feel like getting on with it—just setting all those worries aside, and getting on with it.  Whatever IT is.

Time to catch up with myself, time to say “I’m still here”.

Let’s keep on keeping on.

 

For The Love Of Tomatoes

Thinking out loud…

Ok, I admit it seems odd to want to talk about tomatoes in the midst of all the chaos swirling around us these days.  But then I remind myself that paying attention to the simple beauty of what is right in front of me can be the best way to foil that chaos for a time, and bring some comfort to my day.  So, I figure you might need to think about tomatoes too.

This is the season.  This is the time to taste what a vine ripened tomato is supposed to taste like.  Get ‘em while you can.  Enjoy the heck out of them.

My very favorite this season is a Tomato Gratin, recipe supplied by a cracking good cooking show on PBS—America’s Test Kitchen.  (I’d link it if I knew how to do such techy things in this blog format…)  But, anyway, a simple chop ‘em up and mix and bake recipe that says summertime and bounty to me.  And tastes darn good too.

I have yet to get a picture of the finished gratin.  But I will keep trying!

You can probably tell that I have rediscovered my pleasure of being in the kitchen.  In short bursts, with simple tasks, I can lose myself in contemplating zucchini pancakes, or the mysteries and history of sourdough.  In my kitchen it is alright.

I figure we all need to find our place where it is alright, even if it is just for a moment or two.  This is my strategy—to hold onto good will, decency and fairness as I navigate the times ahead.   And I hold on to hope.

We’ll make it.  We will.

 

Time For A Rain Room Chat

Thinking Out Loud…

Sometimes, you have to say the bad stuff.  The depressing stuff.  I hit that point this week.

A growing edginess, slightly short of grumpy, fiercely pressed to smooth out the wrinkles of negative thoughts, finally, finally got to me.  I know how fortunate I am to be in a safe place and with my life partner and love, Jim.  But pressing in, intruding, is the passage of time—time out, yes, but time gone by too.

So last night we settled in the rain room, our quiet, peaceful place with comfy chairs, and talked about the stuff we have been tip-toeing around.  I hadn’t wanted to bum Jim out when I grieved over our canceled road trips, so I had been dismissing those thoughts when they showed up.  I hadn’t wanted to admit to the sadness I was feeling over life on hold, so I made myself look “on the bright side” until I could not stand it any more.

It reminds me of a thing I often told my students about the effect of repeatedly saying “no” to myself when I was having a bad day in the studio—depression.  When all my ideas were being shot down by my own inner critic, I taught myself to say “yes” and “yes” to every idea I had.  It worked me out of the slump every time.  Yes.

And here I am doing the same sort of thing, different context, yes, but the same negative spiral—telling myself not to feel the way I feel is the same denial, the same, the same, the same.  And it doesn’t work.

What a relief to know that Jim had been feeling the same way!  What a relief to admit it to each other, and to stop worrying about worrying—even if it’s just until the next unwelcome thought barges in.

Well, we both felt better, relieved, and encouraged by telling ourselves and each other the truth.  Simple idea, not always easy to do.

A chat in the rain room helps.

Just Because…

Thinking out loud…

Summer has officially shown up here in my neck of the woods, and it is going to be a warm one today.   There is a saying around here that summer doesn’t arrive in Western Washington until the middle of July.  That has held pretty close to true this year.  Today, we may see 90 degrees, which has me soaking up the morning cool in my coffee drinking station.

Where ever you are, keep cool thoughts and be well and safe.

 

 

I have a pound of yeast

Thinking out loud…

Initially, there was a plan.  I wanted pizza.  But we only had old yeast.  Then we discovered that most of America was apparently in bread baking mode—no yeast left in the stores!  I began a search on line and after a couple disappointments and a few weeks, I scored a pound of yeast.  We would survive.

Then it arrived.  A pound of yeast.  A brick’s worth in size.

I haven’t made serious bread in years, and I have been in the mood for home baked bread.  I want to whack bread dough on the counter just like they do in The Great British Baking Show.  English Muffins, Hamburger Buns,  Bannocks (not sure what those are, but I wants ‘em).

But…I admit it, a brick’s worth of yeast intimidated me.  Time passed.

I finally mustered my forces (?) and found a recipe for easy Hamburger Buns.  So here goes!  (You know, whenever anyone says easy, they don’t necessarily mean for anyone else….)

Mise en place!  I am big on mise en place….(I like to say it, a lot).

This mixer hasn’t been out of the appliance barn in a long time, a loooong time.  It knew what to do with bread dough.

Just how long does one need to knead bread?  There is a mystery here. What happens if you over knead it?

There is also a trick to making dough into little balls.  It eluded me….

But here they are!

And they worked just fine, even if the burger kinda hung out the sides, and the buns were a bit on the tall side.

Next baking with yeast adventure is going to be English Muffins!  Because I have a whole pound of yeast to use!  (Minus 1 tablespoon)

Step By Step

Thinking out loud…

Or maybe it should be “hop, skip, and a jump“—Game plan, a way to go forward, or a time to look back and consider where we have been, what we want to keep (and keep doing), and what we don’t.

For how long?  It’s hard to answer that one just yet.  This is a big time out, a BIG time.

Right here, right now.  No matter what if, what might, even what will be, right now there are good people, people who are caring,  and daring to work towards making things better.

That’s what I am celebrating today.

 

 

 

A Work In Progress

Thinking out loud…

Tomorrow  is Juneteenth—The end of slavery on US soil.

As a youngster, I learned about racism in the multi racial housing project I grew up in.  I learned it playing baseball in the parking lot.  I learned it jumping rope to chanting stories.  I learned it overhearing angry grownup voices using words that seared the air, I learned it from the cruel jokes those same voices told and laughed over.

I am grateful that somehow I decided that fairness applied to all of us.   All of us!  Somehow.

We are a work in progress, our nation, us.  There is work to do—to examine our hearts, to tell ourselves the truth, and to remove meanness from our actions.   And with our votes and our voices to require the same of all of our elected officials, to require the same from all people who are meant to act on our behalf—whether they be police, healthcare providers, educators,  or businesses.

Our union continues as a work in progress.  The dream of our nation is worth the work.

I hear voices singing “Change gonna come.”  I’m singing with them.

 

 

To See The Forest For The Trees

Thinking out loud…

A forest is full of trees.  A healthy forest is a community, a varied community of life forms.  Each has a place, a life, a life span.  Each adds to community health—damage one part of the whole and the whole forest suffers.
We are all part of this forest whether we like the tree standing next to us or not— whether that tree is bigger, or smaller, or a different color, or a different shape.

I am trying to live in the hope of a world community that learns from the mistakes made, that strives to become a world of fairness, and health, and truth.
I am not giving up on us.

 

Pie, Goin’ In!

Thinking out loud…Score!  Rhubarb Pie!

During this time of sheltering in place, some things become very important.  Rhubarb Pie is one of these for me.  It is a nod to Spring, and awakens one’s tastebuds with a particular tartness and sweetness.  It is the promise of seasons changing, marking time with hope.

Donned with my handy dandy face mask, I was a happy camper when I scored rhubarb at our local veg mart.  Thank you thank you to the folks that grow and harvest and stock and sell.  Thank you.

Rhubarb Pie…it was good.  Really really good.

Keep well and in good spirits!  We are workin’ on it here too.  Cheers!