{"id":460,"date":"2019-07-31T21:15:47","date_gmt":"2019-07-31T21:15:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/?p=460"},"modified":"2019-07-31T21:15:47","modified_gmt":"2019-07-31T21:15:47","slug":"deja-vu-all-over-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/2019\/07\/deja-vu-all-over-again\/","title":{"rendered":"D\u00e9j\u00e0 Vu, All Over Again."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/h3>\n

Thinking out loud…<\/h3>\n

Called back to teaching, in a pinch, for a good friend, I learned a few things about myself. <\/span><\/p>\n

I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching.\u00a0 <\/span>After I retired, and then after my new hip, I wondered about stepping into the classroom again, maybe just once in a while.\u00a0 <\/span>Thinking about going back to teaching is one thing, actually doing it is quite another.\u00a0 <\/span>Reality check. \u00a0 <\/span>But I am oh so glad I got a chance to try it out once again, and know for sure that the decision I made two years ago was the right one.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is a matter of energy and stamina.\u00a0 <\/span>It is also a matter of accepting my own limitations, as well as my own changing focus.\u00a0 <\/span>I heard myself saying to students, \u201ctrust yourself, trust your ideas, trust your instincts.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Those words turned around and spoke to me.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to play out your ideas, don\u2019t be afraid to screw it up\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I realized I have been afraid to listen to myself, really listen.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have been trying to force myself to keep to the path I started many years ago\u2014to be a quilt maker, to use the quilt as my artistic expression, my voice, when in my heart I knew that I had said \u201cit\u201d (whatever \u201cit\u201d was) with my last two quilts\u2014<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThreadbare\u201d and…\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWeathering Out\u201d\"\"<\/p>\n

I have had my \u201csay\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>I satisfied something elusive in those last two quilts. \u00a0The passion to speak in that form is no longer tugging at me.\u00a0 <\/span>I can\u2019t be finished! I thought.\u00a0 <\/span>I still have good ideas!\u00a0 But w<\/span>hat I don\u2019t have is the passion to sit down and do<\/u> it. <\/span><\/p>\n

I have been sad and puzzled about that, conflicted and troubled on one hand, and on the other hand, enjoying the heck out of my (mostly) unscheduled life.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve been writing, and taking lots and lots of pictures.\u00a0 <\/span>I have been exploring my interests without trying to make them practical.\u00a0 <\/span>I have been savoring life\u2014unfettered, spontaneously, quietly, consciously, and as responsibly as I can.\u00a0 <\/span>That I do<\/u> have passion for.\u00a0 <\/span>I have time for that.\u00a0 <\/span>I am taking my time.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I will \u201ccut myself some slack\u201d, trust my instincts, and see where this leads me\u2014playing\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0it out, trusting that it is the right path, mistakes, missteps and all, right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As I fly home across this country I am listening….really listening.<\/span><\/p>\n

And to all the students I have ever had, I send my heartfelt thanks.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thinking out loud… Called back to teaching, in a pinch, for a good friend, I learned a few things about myself. I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching.\u00a0 After I retired, and then after my new hip, I wondered about stepping into the classroom again, maybe just once in a while.\u00a0 Thinking about going back to teaching … Continue reading “D\u00e9j\u00e0 Vu, All Over Again.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=460"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":477,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions\/477"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}