{"id":448,"date":"2019-07-06T16:07:39","date_gmt":"2019-07-06T16:07:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/?p=448"},"modified":"2019-07-06T16:07:39","modified_gmt":"2019-07-06T16:07:39","slug":"hang-ups","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/2019\/07\/hang-ups\/","title":{"rendered":"Hang Ups."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/h3>\n

Thinking out loud…<\/h3>\n

There is what you do, and what you think you should do…where you are, and where you think you should be…who you are, and who you think you should be. \u00a0Well, at least that\u2019s the stuff that bosses me around in my unsuspecting moments. \u00a0I blame it on a strong work ethic, learned from a long line of hard working people in hard times.<\/p>\n

As a kid, I wondered about things a lot. \u00a0My brain was very busy thinking, figuring out things, watching. \u00a0I felt I could almost go unseen and slip into the natural world quietly and peacefully, but alert and observing. \u00a0I could lose myself in a world of books borrowed from the mobile library that regularly visited our street. \u00a0In our household, this looked like inactivity, laziness, time wasting, shirking. \u00a0So I took to going off by myself where I could be out of sight.<\/p>\n

That was then, but I certainly internalized all that, and I still prod myself in the same way. \u00a0I’ve noticed this a lot since retirement. \u00a0Having the time to ponder, taking the time to ponder brings up an internal tug of war\u2014this<\/b> is what I want to do, \u00a0but\u00a0that <\/b>is what\u00a0I should be doing.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The difference now is that I do not accept the self-bullying. \u00a0I hear it, but I don\u2019t give in to it. \u00a0I know it is what we actually do<\/b>\u00a0that matters. \u00a0It is what I do<\/b>\u00a0that shows me where I am going. \u00a0As an artist, I have learned to trust this, trust myself\u2014though not without a lot of internal questioning.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Right now I am following my instincts to explore. \u00a0I notice that it sure seems to involve a lot of yarn and knitting and fabric building. \u00a0My thoughts are beginning to turn to what this might be leading to, but it still feels too soon to jump in and nail down.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I have a lot of questions for myself, and I want to learn how to do so many things that I keep being happily pulled along in the current.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I am thoroughly enjoying making stuff! \u00a0I currently have \u00a05 knitting projects to hand\u2014all working with something new to me\u2014fiber, techniques, design or color. \u00a0I switch back and forth as the spirit moves me, slowly making progress. \u00a0Some projects allow my mind to roam, some require intense focus, and some just feel good in my hands. \u00a0I am watching fabric build in my hands. \u00a0And at the end of it, there is something produced, to use, to wear, something made<\/b>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thinking out loud… There is what you do, and what you think you should do…where you are, and where you think you should be…who you are, and who you think you should be. \u00a0Well, at least that\u2019s the stuff that bosses me around in my unsuspecting moments. \u00a0I blame it on a strong work ethic, … Continue reading “Hang Ups.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/448"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=448"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/448\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":456,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/448\/revisions\/456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=448"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=448"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cynthiacorbin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=448"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}